LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears announced she was diagnosed with a rare and deadly flatulence disease.
A former cop who worked for Spears claims the singer made his life a living hell — because of her excessive flatulence.
Fernando Flores, who worked as a bodyguard for the pop princess last year, has sued Spears’ conservators for $10 million alleging abuse of Spears non-stop farting.
Flores also alleged that he faced a series of unwanted advances from the 29-year-old Britney, who “paraded naked in front of him and often beckoned him into her bedroom for sex,” according to
Flores never considered having sex with Spears, for a number of reasons, but primarily because “she fart all the time.  She one big farting machine.
In the lawsuit, the former bodyguard claims Spears was a rude boss, who also  picked her nose “unapologetically” and failed to shower for days.
“Spears was generally personally unkempt,” according to the suit.
“Based on his former experience as a police officer, Flores said Spears’ farting could be described as a lethal weapon,” said Flores’ attorney, Raimondo Guarez.  “My client has seen cops overcome with the smell from flatulence and he felt that he was assaulted every day by Spears and her farts.”
Doctors confirm that the fumes from Spears’ farts could be deadly to some.  “Yes, they can cause some people to choke and some may even stop breathing.”
Lawyers for Spears have filed a motion saying the allegations are exaggerated.  But, more importantly, they say that Spears has a rare condition – Flatulencia Explotatta – that affects less than 1% if the population.  “She can’t help it. She’s been do the best doctors in the world.  It’s a disease.”
Spears has topped the charts with a variety of popular songs in her career, including the hit “Baby One More Time” in 1998 and “Toxic” in 2004.
Toxic might be the best word to describe Spears.

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